Wednesday, March 9, 2011

The "Hood Rat" Epidemic

So for the past year, I have used the term "hood rat" or "rat" a lot. For some reason, there seems to be an uproar of them. We have always had, the "ghetto girls," heck, Bow Wow even made a song for them to make them feel special. But, when did it become an "okay" thing to be one? Why are groupies, who I also call "rats" glorified for their groupie-ish and rat-ish ways? Why are we no longer looking up to figures like, Michelle Obama, Oprah Winfrey, or Maya Angelou. What happened to those girls?

The term "hood rat" is defined by urban dictionary as 

"1. A person (usually a female) who exhibits a trashy or triflin demeanor. Their appearance and hygiene is usually unkempt and they are very promiscuous and often don’t use protected sex. They can be aggresive and are usually found in the “ghetto” (a car wash or park) or other poor environments (usually on the front porch) being unproductive to society living off Gov. aid. These type people are content with how they live and enjoy getting high and drunk on a regular bases. A female hood rat will be dressed wearing: store brought, colored, contact lenses, house shoes or flip flops; a nappy, blond or red weave; tasteless, faded and cut-up short shorts, a revealing top or jersey dress, and plastered with tattoos of baby daddies. A male hood rat will be dressed wearing: a funk that will knock your socks off; an Xtra long white dirty t-shirt big enough to cover a bed mattress; big heavy duty boots or 100 dollar tennis shoes (he probably spent his entire check to buy) and a plaque infested gold grill. Not all black people act like that, neither do people who live in impoverished environments! Some of them want out!"

Yea, I know, that is a long ass definition to read. Basically, it is a female who is promiscuous, usually has ghetto "tendencies", and all are not black! I have developed a checklist on how to tell if you are a "rat"
Wanna read it? Here it goes:

1. Multicolored Hair
When did this become cute? There is no way that any guy could possibly find it sexy to be walking around next to rainbow bright? When I see guys with chicks with rainbow colored hair, I just wanna ask "You proud of her?" Walking around like she is doing it BIG! No no boo-boo. I am all for a blonde streak hear or their, or a streak that is a lighter or darker shade than your hair is. But the hot pinks, baby blues, and bright oranges are just not what is hot. Do you go to your job with that hair? People actually buy stuff from you? If I walked in one day, and my hairdresser had multicolored hair, I would find a new, because obviously, you are more of a rat than I thought and you are NOT about to have me walking around looking that "rat" Ashley who be on the corner! No ma'am! Ladies, note to self, that is not cute. I don't care if you live, who you hang with, whatever, that is NOT cute. It is very tacky, and then for you to try to match your clothes with your hair. *slaps forehead* You are just absolutely STUPID!

2. Crazy Acrylic Nails
First off let me say, I am a fan of acrylic nails. I enjoy being in that nail salon letting those asians drill on my beautiful nail beds. It's relaxing, it's comforting, and I feel pretty nails are sexy. Now that that is out of the way, don't show your "rat ways" by getting nails that look like Coco's from SWV! Firstly, how do you wipe, and wash your ass with those nails? Don't those cut you? I've gotten more compliments from guys on short, french tip nails, than I have for the longer, colorful nails. Most men that I've come across like simplicity. They want that chick that they can show off to their business partners, so having the long acrylics don't quite fit into that. Now, the colors and designs..hmmm. First off, I like color, I don't mind color. But some designs are taking it too far. The bulky nails where they carve a design, no, that's not cute. Having a picture of your boo on your nails. NOOO! WTH? Having letters on your nails...*slaps forehead*  All of that is a big, fat X! Why would you want that on your nails. Why decide, "Gir, I'm finna go get this Gucci symbol on my nails. It's finna me fye!"
 Really? No. Just...NO!

3. Bad Weaves (Lacefronts, Wigs, Whatever)
There is nothing worse than a chick walking around like she bad, with some "f-ed" up hair. Who said it was cute to get a lace front that is all the way down to your eyebrows? Who said it was cute to have your tracks showing? Who said it was cute to buy that $19.99 wet and wavy hair? If you are going to be walking around like you are a "bad bitch" u better be "bad" from head to toe! Mean, a putting that messy weave in a ponytail is not going to cut it. If you can walking around in your brand new outfit that you just copped from the Asians downtown, you can spend that extra to go and get your weave tightened. That is one of the first signs of a "rat." They got their nails and feet done, got that brand new 'fit, they may even have their hair done. But, most likely, they let Keisha from down the way hook them up, and she just started cosmetology school! Meaning, she can get that sew in for the low! What she don't realize is she had to pay more than that $20 on the hair for it to not look ratchet!

4. You are that "No Hands" or "Make it Rain" chick
Yall know the ones, the ones who be at the club at 10 because ladies get in free before 11. The ones who as soon as "Make it Rain," "No Hands," or "Shake That Monkey," come on are the first one on the dance floor, giving you a show. The ones who come decked out in all Rocawear with their shoes from Payless. THOSE women. Don't get me wrong, I gets down on it to "No Hands," but it is usually in the privacy of my own home in front of a mirror. Maybe it is my age, maybe I have gotten past the stage of being on the dance floor shaking my ass for a guy's attention, Okay, to keep it all real, I was NEVER that chick. I danced because I liked to dance. It wasn't to get a guy's attention. I would actually prefer NOT to dance with a guy. Anywho, most "rats" have these songs as their ringtones, glorifying the fact that for some cash, you can see some ass, and they will do it with no hands. Just ratchet.

5. Moscato is your main drink of choice
I feel like every since Drake mentioned Moscato in a rap, every chick is drinking Moscato. Seriously, first off, you probably don't even know how to spell it! Myself personally, if I am going to drink some wine, it will be an amazing glass of Riesling, or some White Zinfandel. Moscato would be my last choice. It's sweet, and..sweet! Just because a rapper has glorified a drink does not mean it is now "classy." Where did you get that notion from? Oh because you are now at the bar sipping from a wine glass and no longer taking shots and getting it in with that Corona, you are classy? Umm, no. Classy is defined as much more that your choice of drink. People think Ciroc came out when Diddy bought it out. I remember sitting in my uncle's "mini-mansion" sipping on Ciroc, Moet, and Chandon in 2005!!! It has already been out, and people like myself and BEEN had that! Get with the times, we already on to the next thing! Moscato is the "hood rat's" champagne. So, you don't want to go to the bar and get that bottle of Rose' or Moet, so you get Moscato, which is $10.99 at most grocery stores! Step your game up boo!

Okay, I believe I am done picking on hoodrats for the day! If you fit into any, or all of these categories, then trust and believe, YOU ARE A RAT!!! I am so tired of this being glorified by the Amber Rose's, Natalie Nunn's and the other many jump offs! They are rats as well! And the shit is not cute, at all! As I've said before, step your game up boo! This should not be your claim to fame, nor should you want to be like that. It's not cute, its not hot. If you want that nice house, nice car type of life, do it for yourself. Don't try to hold off for a celebrity, who will probably treat you worse than that "kingpin" you were messing with before him. Go and do for self. #BoopWisdom


Signing Out,

1 comment:

  1. It's the African in us. We love colors. It;s a result of slavery that we think it "NOT cute"

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