Saturday, April 9, 2011

Would've Been The One..

I'm a woman who loves a variety of different men. I've dated all different types and varieties. I even talked to a Caucasian guy for about a week! That was really out of my comfort zone, but hey, at least I tried it! In my dating experiences, which don't amount to much because I hate dating, I've come across guys who could have possibly been the one, but my picky self, there was ALWAYS something wrong!
I decided to go back in my dating/relationship history to make a list of the type of guys I've dated. I just wanted to go through a brief dating history, just to see the "type" of guys I like. Here goes:

The Afrocentric:
This was the guy who was so into mother Africa, and even visited there. He taught me how to relax and really enjoy the life that I have. This was the guy who talked in depth about "his people," was always down for the cause. Because of that, I began to get into politics, and even thought about going natural, to be "down" with the cause! I should have known something was wrong, because he rocked a mohawk, and was very unhealthy. I dealt with that, because he was so different than any other guy I had ever dated. On our first date, he took me to a health foods restaurant and then we walked around the park where he gave me a flower to put in my braids. I was all into him. We began to exercise together so that we could both be healthy. Then something in him changed, he was no longer my Afrocentric counterpart, he became a hood regular dude.  Doing whatever to make money and boast about it. He was no longer my "type," if I had one. So, I began to distance myself. Didn't want to be a part of his world anymore. Then one day, out of the blue, he calls me and tells me about his new house and car. Was I supposed to get excited? Well, I really wasn't because this wasn't the man I met months before. He had been abducted by some hood dude in Dayton, and he was no longer my "afro-male." Next thing you know, he is telling me that as long as I am big, no one will ever want me and I will never be happy. Wait..what? I basically laughed at him and hung up, never to hear from him again. So, what made me think to even write of him, is I saw him the other day looking like a bum! I guess he had gone to his African roots and began to grow dreds! Only problem is, his were sticking up all over his head. If you remember how Slick Em from Pretty Ricky's hair was, that is EXACTLY how his looked! He looked a mess. I guess I'M the one who is happy, huh?

The Pseudo-Thug:
Yea, so I dated a pseudo-thug before. I call him that because he was one of those guys who THOUGHT he was a thug, but NEVER did anything of the thug nature! He rocked his braids, was the bad boy in school, and I guess he still thinks he is tough as an adult. I was attracted to him because of his skin and smile. He as the most beautiful deep chocolate skin, and when he smiles it lights up the room. I guess those smiles were only reserved for me, because in front of his peers, he hardly ever smiled. I also call him the pseudo-thug because he was BROKE! I mean, like, ALL THE TIME!!  Most thugs go out and get that paper, by any means necessary. It was like he was cool being broke. Anyone who will quit their job just because, yea, that was when I had to call it quits. I don't mind you being broke, especially when you have responsibilities, i.e. children, car note, house note, whatever! But when you have NO responsibility, that is a problem darling.So, was I wrong for basically not even telling him I didn't want him, I just left him alone! LOL. Hey, he hasn't called so...

The Nerd:
Let me start off by saying, I LOVE NERDS! I really and truly do, but there are some that just don't work with me. I consider myself a very smart person, so I am always looking for someone who is on my same intelligence level. I hate talking to guys who haven't picked up a book since middle school, can't tell me what's going on overseas, or anything. All they can speak to me about is money, cars, clothes, chicks, and throw in a little joke every now and then. BOOOOOO! Anywho, back to my nerd. He was a decent guy. Older, had kids, owns his own home, and works two jobs. This sounds like the perfect male, right? Well, when I first met him, I was really into him. He was the first guy in years that I had actually liked. Let me tell you, nerds can be deceiving honey! OMG, this guy transformed in the blink of an eye. Long gone were the 4 phone calls during the day, long gone was the going out, long gone were the home cooked meals. For some reason, he got it in his mind that I was some kind of booty call, thinking it is okay to just call me up at midnight, asking what I'm doing. Umm, excuse me sir, NO! Suffice to say, this nerd is still trying to get in my pants and it is NOT happening! Maybe once he gets it together and figures out what he wants, I may be more than friends with him. Until then...on to the next one! Was I wrong? (I promise I never led him to believe that he could just call me up at anything and I would be ready and willing to go along for the ride..)

The Poet:
So, because of my love of movies, I have seen "Love Jones" a million times and always wanted me a Darius! Whoo child, a man who can write and recite poetry like that just has to be the one. I met him, and after 4 years of friendship, I was truly in love with him. He was the guy that I had been waiting on. We had something special, so I thought. We lived in cities that were about 2 1/2 hours away. When we decided to take our relationship on a deeper level , we fit really well. I would visit him a lot. I spent a lot of money, but I didn't care. I was with him, so that was all that mattered. I wish I would have known what I was getting into. I probably could have went about the situation differently, like made him come visit him, make him take off work when I visited him. He NEVER had time for me. I began to feel like I was in the relationship alone. He didn't listen when I would try to tell him my feelings. Then when he didn't show up or call on one of the most important days of my life, my graduation, I broke it off. That was unforgivable. It wasn't like I had given him short notice or anything like that, I feel like he just didn't care. So, not only did I have to let go someone I loved, but I had to give up my very own Darius. I miss the poetry at times. We recently got back in contact with each other, but I rarely look back, so...Damn, was it me again? 

The Athlete:
I have a thing for athletes. Their builds, and the way they walk into a room and everyone stops. Yes! They don't even have to be a professional athlete! When I dated him, I was young. To this day, I still don't know why I decided to break up with him because he was amazing. He was the first guy to actually SEE me. He was honestly and truly a sweetheart. This is the one I let get away. I just chop it up to immaturity and stupidity. The thing is, if we had stayed together longer, we probably would have broken up anyway, because he is with the person God had for him, so everything worked out. I KNOW this was a "It's not you, it's me" situation that rang true! 

I've dated a plethora of guys, and I've been trying to figure out my type for a long time. I've learned that I don't have one. I am willing to give a guy a chance to prove he is worth my time. I don't go off of looks, or body types. It doesn't mean I am desperate for a man, because I am not. I get all the male attention I need from my male friends, my daddy,my brothers and my uncles! LOL! (spoiled brat, I know) It's just that I learned a long time ago that you can't judge a book by it's cover. I've missed out on some great guys because they had a look about them I didn't like, or they just weren't my "type." I learned that a great guys comes in any shape, color, or size!

So what are the type of men/women that you've dated? Hit up my comments and let me know!

Signing Out,


  1. Man, lemme take a stab.

    Troubled One - This was my first real GF (meaning my first). She was crazy about me, a bit too crazy at that age I think. She would come over my moms house when I wasn't there and just lay in my bed waiting for me. I never had to ask her for anything, she always had my back. But if I wasn't giving her enough attention, and that means if I had to work and she wanted to be with me, she would page the hell outta me 911 and talk about killing herself. The last time she did that, I sped through traffic after leaving work trying to save her, and when I got there, she acted like I was the crazy one. I never fell for it again. Eventually, we broke up when I went away to college because she decided I was cheating on her...I wasn't, but I was too far away to deal with the drama.

    The Freak - Ok, so she had really pretty skin, and was kinda dorky, I dug her. Shortly after becoming a couple, I heard a rumor about her but I dismissed it. We were together for a lil bit, I became like a dad to her little brother and her son. I proposed, wanted to take care of her and her son...guess I was dolo. She accepted, but eventually, I found out about her sleeping with a coworker of hers. She told an elaborate story of meetings and promotions all as a smokescreen for meet up sessions with the guy. Once I found out, it was over. The rumor that I heard back at the beginning was along the same lines of this. I think during us being a couple, she slept with at least 5 other people.

    Best Friend - We were best friends in HS, and at that time, she was dating my boy. Eventually, they broke up. I was digging her and she was digging me, but she dated my boy and I had a girl and we know it's taboo to date your peoples people....well, that is until he screwed a chick I was talking to WHILE I was there. All bets were off at that point. Anyway, my bf/his ex still wasn't feeling me like that and I ended up hooking up with Troubled One back then. Once I returned from college, we hit a concert and she decided that night, she was down. So we dated for a while. Tragically, when dating your bf, you tend not to talk about expectations and you expect that relationship just to transition naturally. We screwed that up and ended up.

    Crazy - Ok...I don't even want to go into the drama around this one, but that name is not an exaggeration.

    Classmate - She was one of the chicks in this college class I was taking, a class FULL of fine women. She approached me and we went on a few dates but there just was no chemistry. I don't even remember how I ended that one, but I just did.

    I think overall, I don't have a type. I have things that kinda make my ears perk up a bit more than others, but I love women. Long as you have a sense of humor, an opinion, and are interesting, we can work things out ya know? 9/10 anyway.

  2. wow, I thought my dating history is bad. Yep, u got me beat. Lol.
    I feel chemistryis a big factor, so is having things in common. I'm hoping I find something that works, soon. Lol