Monday, August 8, 2011

Why you will never sip my "Sweet Tea"

So, lately I've been having some issues. Some real, grown woman issues! I mean, it's getting bad. I've already written about my celibacy, and dudes coming out the woodwork, so why are they STILL trying? I've decided to do a sex week where I've asked different people about different subjects. Today's subject: Why you will never sip my sweet tea...

Me and my homegirls are always talking about various things. We've had some crazy conversations, and one thing we all really have in common, is that we have strong feelings and issues about sex and celibacy. We all take sex seriously, and we all agree, not everyone deserves to sip our sweet tea! So, I asked them, "Why can't someone sip your sweet tea" and these were there answers...(I've already written a blog about my celibacy, so I am just going to leave this one to them...)

T- ok sis so a few reasons why I dont share my sweet tea with too many or close to anybody is because I dont want to carry that person around with me for the rest of my life. Not to mention all the known and unknown cases of STD's out there.. people tend to forget that when they have sex with somebody they are also having sex with everybody that they had sex with. I look at it from a spirtual standpoint. When you have sex with someone who you are now spiritually tied to that person until you ask God to release him/her from you. Judging how f*d up people are now a days my peace of mind and spirit is not worth it..another reason is kind of like you I dont want to be a mans reason to brag that he *smashing this chic*..not trying to be another notch in his belt...

Sylv- First thing sex is well its something until you've experienced it you can't understand its draw and pull on your body. When I started having sex I guess I was about 18 and I was enjoying being in control of my body(I had been the victim of sexual assault 3 years earlier). In my mind each time I choose to have sex I was reclaiming a bit of power, when in reality all I was doing was tearing my body down.

    Around the age of twenty I began to date this guy lets call him David. We were great together at least in bed. The sex was awesome and honestly that's all we had. Each and every date ended with us having sex.
    Then it happened I was late. And not just one or two days late but almost a full month late. When I approached David with my concern he quickly informed me that if I kept the baby I would be doing so as a single parent and although he loved me he did not see marriage in our future even if I was pregnant.
    So I went to the drug stuff pee'd on a stick and to my relief I wasn't pregnant. I promptly called David and let him know that there would not be a second child support order taken out on him, then he wanted to continue our relationship, I agreed only after taking sex out of the relationship. I say it lasted maybe three weeks after that.
    So now its been 6+ years and yes it truly gets hard sometimes, but I decided that if I did things in Gods order I wouldn't have to worry about my heart being broken and being a single mother. All in all its worked great for me. And when I do get married I will still be saying no sir you can't sip my sweet tea; You can have the whole glass.

Licia- The reason a man cannot sip my sweet tea so easily is because my standards have went up. I fell victim to trying to please my boyfriend and end up getting a broken heart.  I want something meaningful and lasting and that is why im waiting til marriage. My motto is "true love waits," so I feel uf he can wa it til marriage, I found someone worth my sweet tea. ;)

Esha- I’ve made a vow to myself and God that I would do sex His way; the right way. I would stop giving away my treasure to any man for pure pleasure. There is a reason that God ordained sex to be between a husband and a wife. I am tired of getting up from the bed and you being no more committed to me than before we lied down. I want to do this differently; God’s way. It leads to less heartache, confusion, self-hate and negativity. Doing it God’s way sets you up to win. The devil wants you to think sex before marriage is ok and that everyone is doing it so should you. Like my Momma always said, “If everyone is jumping off a bridge you’re going to do it, too?”
The bible teaches us that everything is permissible for us but not everything is beneficial. I could have sex; give away my treasure but what happens after is not beneficial for me or to me. I will not be having sex until I am with my husband. He is worth the wait. In these previous relationships all I was doing was looking for him; searching for him and they ended up not being him at all. So, here I was again, giving away wifely benefits to some man who was just passing by. I am not a rest stop. That ends now. This celibacy is dedicated to doing it God’s way.

All in all, none of us want to just give it up to anyone. We are all at that age where we want something more. We deserve something more, and there is someone out there who deserves US!


  1. Yes!!! The stories of the other ladies inspired and encouraged me a great deal! Thank God for you ladies and stay encouraged in the Lord!

  2. @Jay, thanks!!!
    @Esha, when I read y'all stuff, I almost cried. I was like, wow...I really am not alone. Even after having different convos with you ladies, it was different actually reading your stories!

  3. This is nice.... the other stories encourages me to keep the vow... and we all know patience is a virtue