Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Double Standards

Was having a conversation with a friend, and double standards came about. We were watching Marsha Ambrosius' video "Far Away," and he asked , "Why couldn't it be two women?" I replied, "What does it matter, they are both homosexual. He said, "It's different, we don't want to see that. It's a double standard." For the life of me, I will never understand why it is so convenient for men to use the term "double standards," whenever it suits them.


The whole double standards issue should just go to HELL! I hate when men feel like it is okay to do something because they are a man, but when a woman does it, she is wrong. Like they whole "Pimp/Ho" double standard. If a male sleeps with "every girl in the world," he is considered a pimp, king ding dong, basically, THE MAN! When the tables are turned, and a female sleeps with a lot of men, she is a hoe, slut, trollop, chickenhead, bobble head and all other names. We are never seen as someone who does what she likes. We are never seen as an independent, who just happens to like sex, be it with one person, or more than a few. Men have this thought in their head that women should be pure. We should not have slept with a lot of men, but we definitely have to be freaks, and have experience. They want to think and feel like they are one of the select "few" that we have let into our inner sanctum. But with women, we should be okay with the fact that you have slept with a numerous amount of men, because you are, a "MAN." We should accept the fact that men are built to sleep with a numerous amount of women, and we should accept you for who you are, right? What about accepting me for who I am? So, ok, I slept with 3 men, so I am a ho? Oh, you thought that you were the "only one?" Oh, so I am a ho now? This double standard is one that should definitely be squashed. Be man enough to stand up and accept me, for who I am, and I will do the same. What happened to the man?

Another double standard that gets me is inter-office relationships. It is ok for a man to date many women in the workplace, and tell all of his friends and male counterparts about how he "got" the chick in marketing. But, when a female does it, we are wrong. Wrong for telling our friends about how "good" it was, or even how "terrible" it was. Wrong for spreading our legs, and our business, around like butter on bread. Think "Boomerang," I loved Robin Givens character because she was unapologetic. It showed a twisted view of how women have felt for years, yet now a man was feeling it. There is nothing wrong with getting it in with an at work counterpart, and if you want to put your business out there, that is on you. But don't fault me and label me because I do so, and think that I am wrong for labeling you for the same crime. What happened to the man?

Double standards to me are pointless and senseless. I am so tired of being criticized for who I am or what I do, simply because it is not "lady-like." I am sorry that I like to curse like a sailor, I am sorry that I walk around as if I am the "woman." Oh, so this is a man's world, and basically women to to know their place? It is 2011, our place is right there in that courtroom where we are the judges, and you are the criminal. Our place is at the head of the table in the conference room. Our place is leaders! Women are no longer falling by the way-side, or behind. We are right next to you, breathing down your neck! We are now major competitors in fields that were once male dominated! We are owners of Fortune 500 companies. Women are moving onward, and if we so happen to pick up on habits that used to be "manly" than so be it. I give big ups to characters like Nola Darling from Spike Lee's infamous "She's Gotta Have It," and Jacqueline from "Boomerang." Women doing big things, paving their own way, doing what they want, living life, and not apologizing for it! Once men get past the fact that we are human, and we react to situations just like them, maybe we will come to an agreement, double standards are DEAD!!! What happened to the man?

I pose the question "What happened to the man?" at the end of each paragraph because I want to know what happened to the man who appreciated a woman for what and who she is. What happened to the man that is "man" to realize that women have pasts too? What happened to the man who doesn't see "double standards" and sees a true "woman?"

A friend on twitter asked last night "Where are all the real men? Are there any still out there?" I replied, "There are plenty of good men out there. They are sitting at home hurt, same place the real women are. It's a never ending cycle.." Once we all get past our insecurites and actually grow the "f" up and accept each other for what we are..HUMAN BEINGS!

Signing Out,









P.S. I promise I am not a male basher. I am harder on my own "species" than I am on them!

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