Tuesday, February 22, 2011
No Means No: Why I hate dating
I've always wondered why guys felt like if they take you out, then that is open market for you to have sex with them. I recently experienced this, and let's just say it didn't end well. I told this fool up front, nothing is going down. I even went as far as telling him if he tried anything I would knee him in the balls! Now, he picked me up, because I don't drive. I told him I live 30 minutes away, and if it was too far out of the way, I was cool. We can try some other time, or whatever. I really wasn't trying to go, but I figured, hey, let me get out of the house for a couple hours. So we get there, chilling, convo is going pretty well. He tries to make a move on me. I push him away, like "Nah homie, this aint what is about to happen." This fool, gets upset, then begins to talk to himself, and had the nerve to say "Well, I just put $25 in my tank to come and get you.." Holonaminute! Did you really just say that? So, although I already had told you I wasn't taking it there, I will stay at home if it's too far, you wanna get all out of order and speak on some gas money? Let's just say the rest of the conversation didn't go well, and his monkey looking as brought me home. Like really dude? Are you that hard up? See this is why I can't be having some of you men all up in my lifespace, cause yall are just too much. Don't get me wrong, I know there are men out who are totally opposite. I'm just sayin...
Like, what happened to the times when a guy invited you out for dinner, or to just hang out and chill, without there being an expectance of sex? Was there ever a time when this was? I've dated guys who I've hung out with and just chilled with and it was fun. We got to know each other. Then there are those other ones. Lawd help em!
Oh, let me give you my experience of the other night! LOL! Oh, the stories I could tell of the some of the men I have crossed paths with! Anywho, there was this guy I was dating last summer. He had been trying to get at me for years, but I wasn't really on it. I finally allowed him in my life, whatever. I like having friends! Anywho, we got to know each and became good friends in a short amount of time. The only problem was his bouts with depression, and him taking things out on others. Honey, I am NOT the one, so yea, he got a food good cussing outs from yours truly! About a month after, he tells me he loves me and he wants to be with me. Can I just say, I had the strongest side-eye going like...wtf? Dude, I've only known you a month, we've never had sex or anything, and you are in love? O-k.. Anywho, so I told him the feeling wasn't mutual and he was too unstable for me to be with him. So, we leave it at that, continue to be friends. Then he starts going through something and tries to take it out on me. I mean, you are lucky we are still friends, is this how you want it to end? We argue about something and in the end, I tell him our friendship is over, and he calls me a "jig." Now, at the time, I had no idea what that mean, I wasn't quite up to my urban lingo at the time. So I asked a friend what it mean and he was like "It means a hoe." So, I'm like, well damn. I've never been called one of those before, I laugh and move on with my life! So, this nut calls me the other night. My first reaction was to not answer, I really shouldn't have. But, I was in a cussing out mood, and I knew if he said something wrong, i could get him! LOL. So, he calls, and apologizes, saying he wants to be friends again. Dude, umm, I haven't so much as seen you in passing in 7 months, and you call like everything is all good? Nono boo-boo, that's not what is happening! Was I wrong? I don't think so! You decided you didn't want to talk anymore so, why should I just jump at the chance to be friends with you?
Like, idk, dating to me is just nothing. Is it nice to go out to dinner, or a movie, or to watch a game and get to know someone, yes, but honestly I don't need it. I am very observant, I believe in chemistry, having things in common, and all of that can be accomplished over the phone! Hey, in this era of Skype and OovOo, you can't go wrong! LOL! I don't want you to take me out because you think sex is going to be the outcome. Take me out because you want to get to know me. See how I am in my environment, see how I react to certain situations and vice versa! I don't want to go out with you to have sex with you, I don't want to go out with you to have something on my arm. I'm very picky, and very cautious, so me even considering going anywhere with you means there is something about you I like. Hell, if you get an invite to my house, I like you a lot! LOL. I'm not the type of female who can be swayed. I stand firm on what I do and say, with little room for error. I don't say that to scare anyone off, because I am the most down to earth person you will ever meet, I am very friendly, and love to laugh! You just have to get to know that part of me, and we will not be able to do that with our clothes off!
So, if you plan on dating me, just know that sex isn't anywhere in the near future! LOL! Hell, actually going out may not be in the near future. Phone calls and text messages are fine with me for now...
P.S. My view may sound crazy and unorthodox, but hey, that's just how it is sometimes.