Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Top Male R&B Artists With NO Vocal Talents!

Tyrese Twitter rant on male r&b singers. #DAH
 So, I have a complete disdain for artists who have made it to the top, with no vocal talents! It annoys me. I went in on the women, Top Female Artist With No Vocal Talents, but I definitely can't leave the men out! Some of them sound worse than the females, and I just can't! It is definitely time for me to get a good rant on. (Haven't had one in a while) Some of you may agree, some you may not, either way, I'm always right, so "FORGET YOU!" (in my cee-lo green from munchkin land voice)

Trey Songz
Whoever told him he could sing, lied. If it weren't for his good looks, would he even be relevant? He is like a new school R. Kelly, without the voice. I know I am not the only one who did a long sigh when he performed at the BET Awards, trying to do a rendition of "Purple Rain." How dare you disrespect the "Purple One" like that? His vocals are like range of moans, oohs, and ahhs. When he actually does sing words, it's like "I moan and moan and moan and groan." *Booo, get off the stage!* I can only listen to him for about 2 songs and then I have to go somewhere else. But other than looking good, what are his talents? He can't dance, sing, or anything. #DAH


                                     Bobby Valentino
Oh Lawd, what do you say about this midget? First off, it sounds like he is whining when he sings. I always think he is still in his depressed "Blackberry Molasses" days. He can be singing "Anonymous" and I still get a little sad, because his voice makes me so sad, almost like he is singing an old "negro" hymn. "Swing Low" Idk why his voice is like that. I feel like he is always begging me,and begging is just a no-no boo! I don't know, it's something about his voice being high and whiney. I feel like I am listening to a new age Keith Sweat, and that is NOT a good thing! Step your game up boo, PLEASE!!

Sometimes, there aren't enough cuss words to say about Ne-Yo. I want to use every one I know, to tell him off! OMG! Now, let me give him some credit, he knows how to write a good song. ( I give credit where credit is due sometimes...) Who told him to crawl out of the hole he was in and become a singer? Like, who allowed this foolery to happen. Why is he always crying? He is singing "Miss Independent" with tears in his eyes. ( I wonder is is because he is hiding his sexuality..hmmm) Anywho, it was cool to have that tone with "So sick," but after that, we are still upset? I don't get it. Your voice makes me want to stand outside somebody's window singing " No More Tears." I just want to cry when I hear your voice, it's that bad! Like, seriously, why? Someone please take him back to that gay night club he was stripping at before he decided, "Mama, I wanna sing!" #DAH


The Dream
Can we really call what he does singing? I call it random noise to a beat. Like, wth? He sounds like a mix of T-Pain and Jeremih. #DAH I honestly don't know what to say about his voice, other than that, it is terrible. I jsut want to take hold of his fat neck, and choke the mess out of him! (Yah Trick!!!) Most people don't sound bad with auto-tune, but he does. How do you not sound good with auto-tune? WDDTA?

First off, why does he have on a raincoat?
Marques Houston
  So, who told Batman from Immature to go solo? First of all, his unproportioned head disturbs me, and then he gives us this nasal version of "music." Like, who told him that was ok? I guess Keith Sweat had an influence on him, eh? He really needs to stop giving Kang Micheal credit for what he does! That is just disrespectful. Maybe if he had stayed with Immature, I wouldn't have paid that close attention to his voice.  He sounded just as bad as the other two, which made it ok, right? Then he wants to do this to me? #DoubleDah

First off, did he really think it was ok to "bless" us with his ratchet voice? As I said before, auto-tune doesn't make everyone sound good. Then I realized, that is his actual voice, isn't it? Maybe, to be honest, I really don't know. If it is, "God bless the child," and his terrible vocal chords. I will say, he is a cutie, but this isn't the post for that! I swea for Jevus if I hear Birthday Sex on mo gain, I am kicking somebody in the face! Seriously, not only is it annoying, well, that's it, it's annoying!!! When will male r&b singers realize, some people do prefer talent over looks? #DAH

Oh, my goodness! First off, why was this catastrophe released to the world? Why did yall disrespect us like this. His voice is a cross between a cat and Fergie! LOL! Like, why and how would anyone actually buy a full album of him singing? Like, actually take your money and go to the sto and be like "Let me get that new Lloyd." Why? How can you enjoy his music with a voice like that? I can't, I won't, I will not. No, you can't make me!!! Ooh, and that "Lay Your Head" song makes me thinking of nails on a chalkboard. If you don't sat down somwhere! Ugh! #TripleDAH

Oh my! Baby, you can not sing! First off, let me say, just because you can hit a falsetto, does not mean it sounds good! Anytime you do a live performance, and you lip sync every time, there is a problem. I am convinced he records himself practicing and uses that during his live performances so we can hear him breathe! He is a studio artist, point, blank, PERIOD! #SuperDAH

         Cee-Lo Green
This lil midget from munchkin land! I've never thought he could sing, and with his growing popularity, it has made it worse. Like, he has a thick tongue or something and it just makes it words seem off. You kind of tilt your head to the side, to try to figure out what he is saying. He sings in baby talk. "Forget you-u-u," I just can't. I feel like clapping my hands, and giggling, and saying "da-da funny." Then, with him singing with the muppets on the Grammy's..yep I was watching Sesame Street. I think he would be good creating children's songs. They would understand him better than we do! #UberDAH

Oh, so you think because you got that good baby hair around the edges, and got a high pitch voice you a sanger? Boo-bye! That voice of yours hurts my soul. "My whole life has changed" when you sang that song. I just shook my head and moved on! I can not, like really. Not only that, you put out multiple hours of that messy voice! Even all the studio equipment won't help, I don't even think you would sound good with auto-tune...and that's bad!

Look at those sideburns. In the
name of Ashanti, amen.

"O" it definitely went down when I heard the sound! First off, no one in B2K could sing. NO ONE! Then, they let the lead non-singer go solo, like that would sound good. He should have just went with a "You got served" dancing career instead of allowing his "singing" career go down the drown. (well, i mean, it's not a big surprise) The faces he makes, thinking he is pushing out some good notes, it just...ugh. He just needs to give it up. Stick to dancing, something you are actually good at!

     Ray J
When Brandy told Ray he could sing his butt off, a little part of me died. If my brother had vocals like Ray J, I would not lie to him and tell him he could sing. I would be like, Singing is NOT your talent. The same goes for Ray J. There is no category for his voice. It is a mixture of, foolery and just bad talent. He can't dance, sing, all he does his drink and mess with women, that's it! When did this become "talent." Who said he could unleash that dragon (no pun intended) on us, particularly me? Don't get me wrong, I bangs "One Wish" and sing it to the top of my lungs! Maybe he should have given the song to Tank, or Glenn Lewis, or someone who actually has the talent to take that song on and kill! #QuadrupleDAH and a slap across the face for Brandy! (or B-New. Ugh)

So, this is my list. Did I leave anyone off? I know you all agree with my choices! LOL! But seriously, can we get some male r&b artists who have some talent to rise, and be great? Some that don't have to show off their skinny "built" bodies to get some recognition. Some who don't have to talk about sexing me up and down, to get me to listen. Ugh. #DAH

P.S. I say the word Dah, because my brother says that when he is laughing after making fun of someone!

Signing Out, 



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